Coming home to me

You might be thinking, what does Becoming, in real time even mean? For me, it was an unexpected journey – I suppose the most transformational journeys are often unexpected – that began when I quit my job.

I’d been working in the same industry for three and half decades, with the same company for twelve…and I had given them everything. My blood, sweat, tears, sprinkled with a generous dose of heart, soul and sanity.

For years, I’d dreamt of something else, something that involved fewer conference calls (the bane of corporate life) and more creative expression. The call became stronger with each passing year, but life was doing its thing, and besides – you can’t just quit your job, right?

Turns out you can, when you’ve had enough. And I had had enough.

So, I peace’d out – see you later, bitches – and my journey begin.

I had no plan, no roadmap – only dreams and a belief that there was more to life than what I was living. Don’t get me wrong; my life was incredible in many ways, but the fatigue and burn out had started affecting my relationships, my lust for life, and my health.

Prior to quitting, I’d already booked a ten-day trip to visit four countries in Europe, for (you guessed it!) Pitbull concerts. My bestie joined me, and we set off to London, Paris, Antwerp and Amsterdam. Travel is in my blood. The wonder of visiting new places, experiencing different cultures, tasting new and sometimes weird foods – this is the stuff that life is made of.

In the months that followed, not only did I have to physically reset – my nervous system was fried like an egg – but emotionally adjust as well. Work was, in many ways, my identity. Single and childless by choice, I had the time and drive to give a lot of energy to my job. When that outlet was gone, I was left with a lot of space and a lot of questions.

Who am I really, outside of work?

What brings me joy now?

What makes my soul sing?

I sat with the questions, felt into them, journaled, doodled…let my soul lead the way. It did not disappoint.

It’s been almost a year since I left my job, and I’m still figuring out what’s next. But for the first time in a long time…I’m actually here for it. And it’s a beautiful thing.